What inspired you to pursue this journey, and how did you overcome initial challenges? I am passionate about talking about marriage because I know that it is under attack today. Over the course of my 20 years as a spouse, I have had the honor of trying to help couples overcome some hard challenges.
Because of this, I know full well that we have a job to do as couples if we are to have successful marriages.
With many marriages falling apart, it's important for a couple to talk about their goals, mission and vision for their marriage. Like every successful company that has a goal, mission and vision, a successful marriage should have these as a foundation, if it is to stand the test of time.
I feel like so many of us were not advised well or truthfully from the onset, and as such, many couples feel ill-equipped to face the hard storms that they are forced to try to navigate in this journey. We can now see that it is not just young couples being affected, but also the older couples who have been married for 20, 30 or 40+ years. As a couple, it is important, to prioritize giving each other the grace to grow and learn from our mistakes. You should both know where your limits are and what your triggers are.
Every couple is different, so it's important that you discuss about what makes you feel whole, happy and loved as a person and also what you don't like. There must be trust and openness from both sides if you are to win in this arena. You must also shield your marriage from outside forces that try to come and steal your joy, peace and overall success. You must both talk about what those things look like so that you are able to identify the enemy from a distance.
The best blueprint for a successful marriage comes from the Bible. The word of God will teach you how to be gracious to each other, how to treasure each other and how to value each other. It will show you how to honour each other and keep each other happy. It will help you navigate the hard times when you face storms. Because it will help you understand who your true enemy is.
Please share a significant moment or decision that played a significant role in your success? For my husband, Eric, and I, the most significant moment in our marriage actually happened before we ever got married. It's crazy to say that, but having the right foundation was actually the most significant thing that we could have done for our marriage.
We were both very young, but we made a prayer to God asking Him to help us be an inspiration to couples who were dating as well as married couples. I was only 17 when we made this prayer. He was 19. I understand that that is not a typical scenario, but for us, this is our foundation. We based it off of Matthew 18:18-19, that says "Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."
We had a great foundation, and we decided that no matter what came our way, we would weather the storms together (and boy oh boy, have we had some significant storms!) and we would fight for each other, not against each other.
How do you navigate work-life balance and maintain your well-being amidst the success? By taking the time to rest, date each other, and have fun with your spouse. It's amazing what a simple date night out, without any interference, will do for your marriage. This helps us to talk about where we are in our journey and how we can both best show up for our marriage and children.
What advice would you give to aspiring women on a similar journey or who dream of the same kind of success? Be kind to yourself and to each other.
Give each other the grace to make mistakes and learn from them. Don't be uptight. Don't jump into conclusions without clarification. Defend your spouse from attacks from the outside. Be present. Be open. Have fun together. Pray together.
If you have children, let them see what a model of a great marriage is by openly being loving and kind to one another. Tend to your own garden. It will always be greener where you water it.
In the face of setbacks, how do you stay resilient and continue to thrive in your journey? I remember my vows and the vows that my spouse made.
This helps us put things in perspective. I also remember that we have a common enemy who tries to steal our joy and this helps us know how to fight. For the sake of the marriages that are struggling, we aim to encourage them to fight for their marriages by being the examples that God called us to be. For those that have endured broken or ended marriages, we aim to encourage them that God is a God of second chances and that they can make their marriages work despite the setbacks.
We are grateful to Naomi for allowing us to share her journey. If you need support in navigating your own journey like Naomi has done, please let us know.
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